t’s been about a year off from regular blog writing here. Little did I know when I took a “short time off” from blogging that God was preparing me for taking more time off when our lives hit a sandbar in the middle of the treacherous ocean and needed extra recovery time. Slowly, we are seeing how God is bringing beauty out of ashes, redemption and once again, joy in the morning. It’s been some pretty long nights, and the clouds still become quite overcast at times, yet, we appreciate the rainbows more than ever. I am learning more to stop and see and enjoy the small things that God created for enjoyment. Our baby lamb following our small MorkiePoo dog around, thinking it’s a dog, even into the house, brings new sparks of joy and laughter. Our almost two year old granddaughter brings such new delights and joy filled air, especially when she says all on her own, “I wuv you gama”. And a new grandbaby due in a few short weeks certainly brings wonderful renewed anticipations with new joyful mornings in the horizon. Life is precious and worth fighting for, no matter what age.
My heart is not into sharing details but God was and is with us along this rocky terrain, even when He seems distant. When bad seemed bad enough, the storms was at the darkest when my dad died last September. I traveled to his funeral on my birthday when it had been my hope to visit him, knowing his days were short. I’ve sweet phone conversations tucked away in my heart and a message my dad left on my phone I replay every so often, hearing his caring, yet weakened voice that I now imagine back to it’s strong baritone boom. The hug good-bye I was yearning for, is postponed and exchanged for a “welcome home” hug someday, when all will be redeemed including heart, mind and body, all completely healed. I so look forward to it as never before. I imagine him talking to my son, Matthew, whom he only had met once on earth, and meeting our daughter, Angela, for the first time. I wonder what their talks are like. I am a bit jealous! I miss talking to him more as time goes on since it was really my only contact with him for many years. I miss his encouragements and him telling me he’s praying. Despite these heartaches, I am reminded in this song,
It will be worth it all when we see Jesus,
Life’s trials will seem so small when we see Christ;
One glimpse of His dear face all sorrow will erase,
So bravely run the race till we see Christ.
So we continue this race, not always bravely, while Jesus always remains faithful. He’s shown Himself in amazing ways when the pit was pretty deep, dreary and lonely and tears seemed ceaseless. One of the major life changes for us, after 22 years of homeschooling, our five youngest children went to public school – not without tears from this mama or our youngest. It was not all good – nor, was it all bad. Our children did amazing and had many wonderful caring teachers, including numerous Christian teachers that went out of their way to help our children adjust…and my youngest’s teacher encouraging me with a hug when I left him in tears, also telling me she’d be praying for him, and me. Another retired teacher, an elderly grandfatherly figure in the children’s lives, would visit them at school, eat lunch with them and participate in special activities at school with them and even took them shopping before school started for backpacks and school supplies. They did great academically, and honor roll awards line our refrigerator. I am thankful for good friends the children have found and the opportunities they have had to share Jesus and be a light in a dark world. Most mornings my send off words to them has been, “shine for Jesus“. They did, better than me many days!
During this past year, I did not stop writing. Though I did not write here, I wrote many letters and filled up many journal pages writing to God. My mind writes a lot – and I think of how I should write things down – and too many times, I don’t. The Psalms remain my healing balm. Susie Larson’s Daily Blessings hit my heart almost on a daily basis this past year, with yes, Jesus, I need that. Here’s today’s for “An Expectant Day” and maybe it will stir your heart as it did mine:
May God Himself restore to you something you lost and never thought you’d get back again.
May He heal a soul wound you thought you’d never get over.
May He pour out an abundance of joy and hope that makes you celebrate before the answer comes.
And may thriving, rich faith mark your life in every way.
You have access to the Most High God.
May you live accordingly. Have an expectant day today!
And so, I will jot some thoughts down here and there, most likely in a different format. I will be doing more with product reviews and sharing links to my Amazon reviews I continue to do. Thank you to the many who wrote notes asking where my blog posts are. I’m sorry I did not answer most, but your prayers were and are appreciated.