Posted in Choking Game, Faith, Family, Grief, Matthew

Our Son, Matthew ~ 7 years gone, yet, No Less Days to Sing God’s Praise

“If you know someone who has lost a child, 
and you’re afraid to mention them 
because you think you might make them sad 
by reminding them that they died–
you’re not reminding them. 

They didn’t forget they died. 
What you’re reminding them of is that 
you remembered that they lived, 
and that is a great gift.”

~Elizabeth Edwards~

Blessed with a 16 year loan on earth with him
Now missing him for 7 years
Yet, 7 years closer to heaven

Matthew has “no less days to sing God’s praise,
than when he first began”
and someday we will join him ~ it’s the waiting that is hard . . .
he in heaven and our home here – a temporary separation.
We so miss him – miss his smile, miss his voice,
miss the dreams we had, just plain miss . . .

yet, thankful for Jesus –
thankful for precious memories
thankful for a scrapbook packed full of pictures

thankful for more joy than tears

thankful for hope, grace and new mercies every morning

Please Father ~ give him a hug for me today and
tell him his Mumsie misses him and ooohhh, so loves him.

“We wouldn’t long for Heaven if earth had only joy.”
Amish proverb

Posted in Family

Imperfect Prose: The Eleventh

T

 

oday is the 11th.

It’s a date that I’ve counted for almost six years.  It’s had a dark cloud with it for so many years . . . but the cloud is getting lighter, and each year, the sun seems to shine through a little more.

Today we remember Veterans – those who have served and who are still serving. My daddy served in WWII.  He did not talk much about it.  Mom said not to ask him, so we did not.

Today is the 11th . . . Six years ago he was still alive. He wanted to put a flag up.  He thought of going into the Air Force or missionary aviation school.  Little did I know that the following month, on the 11th, I’d be breathing my life into him, but he was breathing celestial air already.

Today is the 11th . . . and the sun is shinning.  We have had a beautiful autumn with so much warmth and radiant color.  I see him alive and wonder what he’d think of our lives now – three of his siblings in relationships; the craze of texting; his baby brother he never met; our new church; new and old friends.

Today is the 11th . . . and I celebrate the 16 years we had him . . . that he was alive six years ago today and we were blessed with his life.

Today is the 11th . . . I think of other kids who have died from the choking game and continue to bring awareness.  I think of a new friend Sheilia Brown. Her son, Luke was like Matthew ~ both loved the Lord, both shared Jesus to others, both had Bible names, both died from the choking game.  Both are in heaven.

Today is the 11th . . . next month on the 11th, just two weeks before Christmas, Matthew will be in heaven 6 years.  I will always miss him. I miss what I think should have been, but God’s ways are not our way.  I miss him, but I have the awesome hope of seeing him again.  I miss him, but there is joy again. The dark cloud is more gray and shortening.

Today is the 11th . . . I am remembering him with continued love and hope you will with us too.

Today’s post is joining in with Imperfect Prose.

 

Posted in Choking Game, Family, Matthew, Writings & Poems

Meet my friend – who I wish wasn’t my friend

I would like to introduce you to my new friend,  Bobbi Jo.  You need to meet her.  Your children need to meet her.  Your school principal and family doctor need to meet her.  Your next door neighbor needs to meet her.   Yet, I still wish she was not my new friend.  We have a common bond, I so wish neither of us have.  But, if you don’t meet her, you or someone you care about dearly may have to join the same club we are in.  You do not want to join our club.  This club should not even exist.  Our club does not display pictures of ourselves.  It displays pictures of teenagers and young children who died playing a game.  But, it’s really not a game.  How can you call it a game if it kills?  It’s the choking game.  Her son, Kris, only 15 years old, died barely 5 weeks ago. Bobbi Jo is just one of numerous moms I’ve met in the last four years.  She is just the newest member in our club.

Tomorrow will be four years our son, Matthew,  died in an accident in our home.  I’d like to skip over the “accident” which some would like me to refer to it as.    I really don’t want our son remembered for only how he died. cheesecakeI want him remembered for his love for Jesus, for the cheese cakes he made  from scratch for my pregnancy cravings.  I want him remembered for sharing Jesus with an elderly man he wanted to make sure would go to  heaven and the Christian faith rings he wore, hoping others would ask him what they meant.   But, I cannot skip over his death.  I will when I don’t read of more deaths like his.  I will when the awareness is there just like it is about drugs, sex and drinking.  Our son did something dumb, like many kids (and adults) do.  This choking game took his life. This game is also known as “Blackout, Fainting Game, Space Monkey, Dream Game, Suffocation, Roulette, Passout, Flatliner, California High, Airplaning, Space Monkey, American Dream, Funky Chicken, Tingling, Gasp.” (info from G.A.S.P – Games Adolescents Shouldn’t Play)

On WKOW 2, Madison, Wisconsin’s TV station website, it states facts all parents need to know:

  • It’s a game that kills anywhere from 250 to 1000 people each year around the world. [I believe the reason there is such a variable in how many is because many deaths are ruled suicide rather than from the choking game]
  • In a recent survey of kids in the US, 75 percent said they’re familiar with the choking game.
  • Deputy Holmes says the choking game is often referred to as the good kids game, because the kids who play it, are not necessarily the kids you would associate with risky behaviors like doing drugs and drinking alcohol.

Though my heart does not ache as it did four years ago, brokenheartMatthew’s death is still like an amputation that will always sting, the wound reopening, and his absence visible to those that loved him.   Please talk to your kids. If you homeschool, it does not mean that your kids won’t learn of this.  Talk to your kid’s friend’s parents.  Bring awareness of this to your school principal, to your pastor, your youth leaders, boy scouts, camp directors, etc. We thought we had our kids sheltered, but evilness still sneeks in.

Please don’t feel sorry for me, and tell me I am strong. Instead, share with the people you love, then tell me that a life was saved because of Matthew’s death.  Tell me another soul has a chance to come to know Jesus because he/she stopped this game.  Tell me, so on our cloudy days when our hearts weep again I am reminded that, It will be worth it all, when we see Jesus“.

To learn how to get involved with sharing about the deadly choking game with your family and community, please visit G.A.S.P – Games Adolescents Shouldn’t Play.

♥   ~ ♥   ~

In Memory of our Son ~ Matthew’s Story

♥   ~ ♥   ~