Posted in Family

Daily Prompt: Singular Sensation

Daily Prompt: Singular Sensation

If one experience or life change results from you writing your blog,
what would you like it to be?


o questions asked, it would be that lives would be saved because of the death of my son.  I started blogging shortly after his death from the choking game in December of 2004.   Some did not like me sharing how he died, but I wish I had known – had known how many kids are doing it, what the signs were and maybe, just maybe we would have noticed and could have prevented his death.  We don’t blame ourselves.  God still knew the number of his days.  And we know God may have even prevented further hurts down the road.  Yet, the choking game is a horrific way to die, a horrific way for family members or friends to find their loved one.  And, kids are doing it every day.  

My heart breaks every time I hear or read of a new death.  There was just one last month I read about, a young 13 year old boy from North Carolina.  I know the years ahead they have of heartbreak and finding a “new normal” – and all the firsts to endure this year.   The father says in the article how he learned that the choking game was popular in his son’s middle school.  Do you have kids between 10 and 16?  If so, please talk to them – today.

I am thankful that because of our son’s death, I do know kids have stopped doing the choking game.  It’s my prayer every time I write an article like this, it’s shared and more parents are brought to awareness, and talk to their kids and yet another child is stopped from doing this.  And when this happens, it’s also my prayer it gives them the time they need to find Jesus.  

For more information, please read, Games Adolescents Shouldn’t Play.  (GASP)

Posted in Choking Game, Faith, Family, Grief, Matthew

Our Son, Matthew ~ 7 years gone, yet, No Less Days to Sing God’s Praise

“If you know someone who has lost a child, 
and you’re afraid to mention them 
because you think you might make them sad 
by reminding them that they died–
you’re not reminding them. 

They didn’t forget they died. 
What you’re reminding them of is that 
you remembered that they lived, 
and that is a great gift.”

~Elizabeth Edwards~

Blessed with a 16 year loan on earth with him
Now missing him for 7 years
Yet, 7 years closer to heaven

Matthew has “no less days to sing God’s praise,
than when he first began”
and someday we will join him ~ it’s the waiting that is hard . . .
he in heaven and our home here – a temporary separation.
We so miss him – miss his smile, miss his voice,
miss the dreams we had, just plain miss . . .

yet, thankful for Jesus –
thankful for precious memories
thankful for a scrapbook packed full of pictures

thankful for more joy than tears

thankful for hope, grace and new mercies every morning

Please Father ~ give him a hug for me today and
tell him his Mumsie misses him and ooohhh, so loves him.

“We wouldn’t long for Heaven if earth had only joy.”
Amish proverb

Posted in Family, Matthew, Meme

Five Minute Friday: Deep Breaths & Memories

Deep Breath . .

start . . . 


e were sitting in the car insurance agent’s office checking into insurance for two more kids who will be getting their licenses soon.   He had a computer screen facing him where he was inputing the information.  There was another monitor on the opposite side of his desk, facing us.  He brought up our family account showing the drivers we have in our household.  Matthew’s name was still on it, with “deceased” by it.  I was not prepared for it, and sucked in a deep breath.  Yes, it’s been over six years, but he’s still missed . . .  will always be missed.

And maybe he’s missed just a bit more as we are going through new milestones in our family, especially with our oldest getting married.  Our oldest and Matthew were just 13 1/2 months apart in age.  I hardly remember being a mom to just one . . . I remember two and three young toddler boys together so well.  The way the life order should go, Matthew should be standing next to his brother when he gets married.  Another deep breath – along with a deep sigh.  The sting of death still lingers.

But God knew his numbered days . . . not the number of days I wanted, but His ways are not mine.  And someday the next deep breath I take, will be celestial air.  Then, there won’t be any more deep breaths of longings.

end . . .

If you are a new reader here . . .  a parent with children, a neighbor with children next door, grandparent, teacher, etc. would you please read about my son, Matthew?  A “game” took his life – it choked his last deep breath from earth.  It’s often my prayer that his death will save another child’s life . . . maybe your child’s?  

Joining Gypsy Mama and her Five Minute Friday.
Writing above done in five minutes.