Heartbreaking – Choking Game Kills Yet Another

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t breaks my heart to read today of yet, another child dying from the choking game.   

This time, a beautiful little girl, Aja Chandler, only 11 years old.  My heart breaks for the family finding her dead in her bedroom. I know too well the long road of healing ahead, the memories of finding her, and not just the first of everything to go through, but  the second year, third year, and all the things kids her age will now pass her by with, including when her friends graduate and begin to marry. We are there now.  Her picture will never age.  And the “what ifs” will consume the parents minds for quite some time.  

I hate it for them.  I still hate it for us, 8 years later.

Our son was 16 when he died from the choking game.  Aja, only 11. I have daughters her age.  Have you talked to your children yet?  Please, if you haven’t, make it a priority.  We had to make good out of our son’s death.  To know other kid’s lives have saved from “playing” with this game helps our hearts that will never totally heal until we are reunited in heaven.  May the same be said of Aja Chandler.

May Aja’s family and friends allow God to give them the peace that passes all understanding during this devastating time.  

Related articles

• Deadly ‘choking game’ claiming kids as young as 9
• Bangor school officials warn parents of student ‘choking game’
• Mother of deceased teen raises awareness about “choking game”
• On Assignment: Parents warn of dangerous, fatal game
• Every parent’s nightmare
• Friends and family gather for Aja Chandler’s funeral
• ‘Choking game’ believed to have claimed life of 11-year-old Ont. girl (video)

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31 Days: “Woman, Just Believe Me” ~ “Healing through weeping” {Day 11}

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arlier today I wrote a post regarding today being Worldwide Choking Game Awareness Day.  We have gone through the death of a 16 year old son to the choking game, nearly 8 years ago.  I know some would prefer I sweep what happened, under the rug.  Some wanted “hushed” what happened to our family.  I am sure some think since it’s been almost eight years, we should be over this, and forget about “it” and go on.  My heart is not nearly grieved as it was even four years ago.  But, healing takes place with being able to share with others, especially those just beginning a grief journey after the loss of a child.  

Mr. John Ortberg wrote in his book, The Me I Want to Be: Becoming God’s Best Version of You  (e-book still free at time of this post) the following:

One man I know is both an extrovert and a deep feeler.  He is in the flow of the Spirit best when he is neck-deep in the soul struggles of another human being.  Ironically even though he is trying to help someone else, it is in those moments when his own soul is healed.

It was so good for me to read this . . .  because I find myself gravitating often, to hurting people, especially moms who have gone through the death of a child.  I’ve been asked often why I let myself go through it – because it’s painful, but it’s painfully healing too.   Several could not understand why I sat with my dear friend Hannah when her baby took his last breath – holding him with her.  It was such a bittersweet time – it was a gift she gave me that I never had with my stillborn daughter.  

The same with my son that died.  Today a gal wrote on Facebook after seeing someone else share my blog post:

I remember the family, and hearing about Matthew’s death. I can hardly believe 8 years has passed. Not long after it happened, my eldest came home from high school to tell me about a new ‘game’ they were playing – it involved wrapping your arms tightly around a person’s upper arms, lifting them up and squeezing until they passed out. I sat down and told him about Matthew. He never did it again, he told his friends about it and they never did it again either. So Matthew’s life has made a difference down here in South Australia too xxx

I’ve heard this many times over.  Though I miss Matthew terribly, especially around holidays, birthdays, special celebrations and when I look at family pictures that do not seem complete, my heart can rejoice  and continue healing, when I know, for eternities sake, his death has and will continue to, make a difference.  

So, what could God be telling us to believe? 

Weep with those that weep . . . 
this is what will help you heal.
And later, you can more easily
rejoice with those that rejoice.
Joy will come again –
though the night may be long.
You can come forth as gold,
going through this trial.

“Woman, just believe Me.“

Above pencil drawing by my 12 year old daughter.

Worldwide Choking Game Awareness 10-11-12

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oday, 10-11-12, is Worldwide Choking Game Awareness day. I wish I could give you the warnings of it, without personal experience.  I wish I knew about it eight years ago, would have known the signs, so it would have prevented the death of our 16 year old son, Matthew.  I wish I did not see my son’s name on a gravestone.  Our “9-11” devastated us on 12-11-04, nearly 8 years ago.

There is much I could write about of Matthew and the changes it has made in our lives – the gaps in pictures, missing him at two weddings so far, the pictures that do not age beyond 16 for him, and finding our “new normal”.  But I know he’d want me to share about the choking game – that it does kill, even the first time, even with “precautions”.  I’ve learned through the years that it seems to take the “good kids” the ones that would never do drugs . . . because it seems harmless and won’t hurt anyone.  I’ve made new friends I wish I had not have . . . we  share a bond of moms who have lost children to this game that there is no winners in.  I know several Christian families, even pastor’s families, who have  children die from playing this.  

Before Matthew died, we had never heard of it.  Suicide did not make sense.  And then the pieces came together, and coroner’s office confirmed his death to this.  We may never know fully where he learned it from, but we have learned, most kids in junior high and highschool are very aware are of it – play it at school, on buses, at parties, many first with someone, then alone.  

If you happen to be a kid or someone who is doing this and reading this, please know that this will affect your entire family and friends, forever when this takes your life.  It will hurt many, from the person who finds you to the area that has to be dramatically changed. Parents will blame themselves with the “what ifs”.  Siblings will wish they had not said things to you before.  Friends will wish they had told someone you were doing this.  And then the family has years of grieving to go through, all the firsts, seconds, and continual birthdays and death day remembrances.  It’s not a game.

I am thankful that I know where Matthew is, in heaven, with his Savior.  Yes, he did  a stupid thing  (don’t we all?), yet he made the smartest decision of his life when he was a young boy, asking Jesus to be in his life.  He loved the Lord, and shared Him with others.  I believe Satan knew he could be a godly leader, and he wanted to prevent him from to telling others of Jesus.  There’s continual temptations in our lives and he succumbed to it.    I know despite his earthly death, he lives forever in heaven, and we will be reunited again, for, forever.  For now, there are tears and we miss him always. Someday our tears will be completely wiped away.  

Parents . . . please talk to your children . . . they probably know about this game already.  Please share with them that kid’s do die.  Show them our son’s memorial page.  The reason the date, 10-11-12, was picked for awareness, is because it represents the age range when most children learn of the game.

Kid’s . . . this is a killer game.  Tell your friends to stop; tell someone of authority if you know someone is doing this.  You may save their life.   Please do not let your parents have to bury you because of this game.

Choking Game
Awareness Websites
Please Share

• CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) Research Info
  
• Choking Game Awareness – The DB Foundation
• G.A.S.P. – Games Adolescents Shouldn’t Play
• On Facebook: SPEAK UP – Worldwide Choking Game Awareness Day
• Psychology Today:  The Dangerous Game Your Child May Be Playing

Our Son, Matthew ~ 7 years gone, yet, No Less Days to Sing God’s Praise

‎“If you know someone who has lost a child, 
and you’re afraid to mention them 
because you think you might make them sad 
by reminding them that they died–
you’re not reminding them. 
They didn’t forget they died. 
What you’re reminding them of is that 
you remembered that they lived, 
and that is a great gift.”

~Elizabeth Edwards~

Blessed with a 16 year loan on earth with him
Now missing him for 7 years
Yet, 7 years closer to heaven

Matthew has “no less days to sing God’s praise,
than when he first began”
and someday we will join him ~ it’s the waiting that is hard . . .
he in heaven and our home here – a temporary separation.
We so miss him – miss his smile, miss his voice,
miss the dreams we had, just plain miss . . .

yet, thankful for Jesus –
thankful for precious memories
thankful for a scrapbook packed full of pictures

thankful for more joy than tears

thankful for hope, grace and new mercies every morning

Please Father ~ give him a hug for me today and
tell him his Mumsie misses him and ooohhh, so loves him.

“We wouldn’t long for Heaven if earth had only joy.”
Amish proverb

In Other Words: What’s Knocking at Your Door?

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his quote made my heart leap.  I know without a doubt, that Satan is seeking to destroy . . . families, our children, marriages, work relationships, friendships, churches, etc.  Really, where is he not at work?

“Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”
I Peter 5:8

I’ve seen it in my family.  Satan knows where my weaknesses are . . . fear is big and can cripple me, having me think of all the worst things that might happen.  It pushes me to be in control . . . because I felt like I especially lost control five years ago when my son died.  That is when Satan pushed my son over his fault line.  He liked high thrill excitement.  He thought he found it in the choking game.  It took his life.

The last part of the quote above talks about exposing and confronting the cracks in our character.   It’s why accountability is so important.

“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.” Colossians 3:16

I am thankful God is so much more powerful than the sin and Satan who is seeking and destroying.  HE knows how to seal the cracks and beautify my character.  God has released my husband and I from asking where we went wrong with the loss of our son.  Possibly we could have done something different, but that time is gone. We have 10 children at home we still have a great responsibility for, and we continue sharing about how our son died to bring awareness.  We are much more alert of what’s on TV, in movies, and what they can see on the internet.  We ask questions . . . LOTS of questions, about their friends (another reason I use Facebook – I’ve learned a lot about my kid’s friends!). There’s big time accountability in many different aspects of their lives.  And it’s not just with my children.  We are working on it in our marriage.  We know Satan wants to destroy our marriage.  Saturday will mark our 25th anniversary.  With tears I can say, by God’s grace we made it . . . and it’s still work.  It’s work on communicating, forgiving, loving, not expecting changes in others, but asking God where “I” need to change.  And there’s accountability in our communication.  We ask each other questions . . . we share where things concern us.  We try to be on a guard for each other, done in a gentle way (well, most of the time!)

I’m learning more and more how my relationship with God is about me and Him.  I cannot be dependent on my husband, pastors, church, or friends to fulfill this.  God speaks in that still small voice specifically to me when I listen and read His Word.

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”
Psalm 139:23-24

Today’s In Other Words is being hosted by Deborah on her blog, Chocolate And Coffee. Won’t you visit and read how Jenn and others have shared their hearts on the above quote!

Meet my friend – who I wish wasn’t my friend

I would like to introduce you to my new friend,  Bobbi Jo.  You need to meet her.  Your children need to meet her.  Your school principal and family doctor need to meet her.  Your next door neighbor needs to meet her.   Yet, I still wish she was not my new friend.  We have a common bond, I so wish neither of us have.  But, if you don’t meet her, you or someone you care about dearly may have to join the same club we are in.  You do not want to join our club.  This club should not even exist.  Our club does not display pictures of ourselves.  It displays pictures of teenagers and young children who died playing a game.  But, it’s really not a game.  How can you call it a game if it kills?  It’s the choking game.  Her son, Kris, only 15 years old, died barely 5 weeks ago. Bobbi Jo is just one of numerous moms I’ve met in the last four years.  She is just the newest member in our club.

Tomorrow will be four years our son, Matthew,  died in an accident in our home.  I’d like to skip over the “accident” which some would like me to refer to it as.    I really don’t want our son remembered for only how he died. I want him remembered for his love for Jesus, for the cheese cakes he made  from scratch for my pregnancy cravings.  I want him remembered for sharing Jesus with an elderly man he wanted to make sure would go to  heaven and the Christian faith rings he wore, hoping others would ask him what they meant.   But, I cannot skip over his death.  I will when I don’t read of more deaths like his.  I will when the awareness is there just like it is about drugs, sex and drinking.  Our son did something dumb, like many kids (and adults) do.  This choking game took his life. This game is also known as “Blackout, Fainting Game, Space Monkey, Dream Game, Suffocation, Roulette, Passout, Flatliner, California High, Airplaning, Space Monkey, American Dream, Funky Chicken, Tingling, Gasp.” (info from G.A.S.P – Games Adolescents Shouldn’t Play)

On WKOW 2, Madison, Wisconsin’s TV station website, it states facts all parents need to know:

• It’s a game that kills anywhere from 250 to 1000 people each year around the world. [I believe the reason there is such a variable in how many is because many deaths are ruled suicide rather than from the choking game]
  
• In a recent survey of kids in the US, 75 percent said they’re familiar with the choking game.
• Deputy Holmes says the choking game is often referred to as the good kids game, because the kids who play it, are not necessarily the kids you would associate with risky behaviors like doing drugs and drinking alcohol.

Though my heart does not ache as it did four years ago, Matthew’s death is still like an amputation that will always sting, the wound reopening, and his absence visible to those that loved him.   Please talk to your kids. If you homeschool, it does not mean that your kids won’t learn of this.  Talk to your kid’s friend’s parents.  Bring awareness of this to your school principal, to your pastor, your youth leaders, boy scouts, camp directors, etc. We thought we had our kids sheltered, but evilness still sneeks in.

Please don’t feel sorry for me, and tell me I am strong. Instead, share with the people you love, then tell me that a life was saved because of Matthew’s death.  Tell me another soul has a chance to come to know Jesus because he/she stopped this game.  Tell me, so on our cloudy days when our hearts weep again I am reminded that, “It will be worth it all, when we see Jesus“.

To learn how to get involved with sharing about the deadly choking game with your family and community, please visit G.A.S.P – Games Adolescents Shouldn’t Play.

♥   ~ ♥   ~ ♥

In Memory of our Son ~ Matthew’s Story

♥   ~ ♥   ~ ♥

Book Review: Life After the Death of My Son: What I am Learning

I t did not strike me right away at church on Sunday.  The Christmas decorations were all up.  Our baby kept pointing to the hanging glass ornaments in the foyer, saying “ball”, “ball”.  It was not until  we started singing a song that it came bitter sweetly back into my mind. Many of the decorations surrounding us were the same ones decorating our church four years ago ~ at our son’s funeral service.

But, it’s easing.  It did not hit quite as hard or as fast this year.  We still aren’t sure about putting a Christmas tree up.  Matthew put our last one up.  We have our advent tree up.  We will do what we can.  We don’t want our living room to feel like a funeral again.

I thought possibly we were the only ones who felt this, until I read  Life After the Death of My Son:  What I am Learning. It was as though the author, Dennis Apple was writing a book on our emotions, our pain, and our unknown grief that those around us could not see, or did not want to see.  The author and his wife Beulah, lost their 18 year old son, Denny to an unexplained illness that quickly took his life.  In this journey through the shadow of death these past four years, we have often found others asking in a round about way are you  “over” Matthew? No one never get over the death of a child.

I thought our grieving was  too long – maybe our faith was not strong enough.  But, you’d think a Pastor and his wife’s faith would be much stronger?  Dennis Apple is a pastor.  In reading his book and hearing him on a broadcast, it took him and his wife nearly five Christmas’s before it was “happy”.  And it was a decision they had to make – a conscience effort to make it happy.  My husband and I have said the same thing especially this past year.  We have to work on making happy memories – and it’s been worth it.  Joy does come again – but sometimes it takes an effort to make that joy become alive.

I could quote chapter by chapter everything that touched me in Life After the Death of My Son:  What I am Learning, starting right out with the first chapter, “Will It Always Hurt This Much” with following chapters titled, “Will Our Marriage Survive This?“, “Am I Losing My Mind?“, “Where is God?“, “I Don’t Want Him Forgotten“, and five more chapters following.  This book is filled with promises of God’s faithfulness, but also of a man’s weakness, anger and questioning God, and frustrations with family and friends.  He is honest and profoundly open.

Dennis Apple was recently interviewed on FamilyLife Radio with Dennis Rainey and Bob Lepine.  It was a three day show, and it was quite powerful.  I will have all the links to the three days below where you can either listen to it or read the transcripts of it. Dennis Rainey made a comment on the first day of the interview I find so true:  “. . . the Christian community does not know how to relate to someone who is going through this level of grief. It is beyond imagination, but the Holy Spirit knows how to relate to an individual.” I believe with books such as this, it can open doors to hurting people, if we as Christians would reach out with understanding and care.  What hope we can give.

Though this book greatly encouraged me reading of another couple who walked so much of the same road we have, I believe that Life After the Death of My Son:  What I am Learning is just as important for everyday Christian believers to read – to understand grief is not over the first year, that there will always be scars in our hearts, and that yes, we want you to mention our loved ones name.  And, if you know someone who has gone through the deep grief of losing a child, whether it be this past year or ten years ago, I invite you to give them a copy of this book (maybe after you have read it) and share together.  I believe it’s a book that should be in every church library, read by pastors, counselors, teachers, etc.

This Thursday, December 11th will mark our “9/11” as Dennis Apple also calls the death of  his child.  I will be sharing more  this week on Matthew,  the choking game, and the hope and peace we have .  I can truly rejoice again that one of Matthew’s favorite songs that is also partly inscripted on his gravestone from “I Can Only Imagine” is not imagined by him.  He truly is forever surrounded by God’s glory, forever praising Him.  For now, it’s us left behind, still  imagining, still wiping remaining tears away.

You can listen to the broadcast or read the transcripts with Dennis Apple on FamilyLife Radio:

• Will It Always Hurt This Much? (Day 1 of 3)
• Will Our Marriage Survive? (Day 2 of 3)
• Grief’s Toll on a Family (Day 3 of 3)

You can find the book on Amazon: Life After the Death of My Son:  What I am Learning

The Choking Game – It’s NOT Just Boys (UPDATED)

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ince our son’s death from the “choking game”, I’ve heard it said numerous times, it’s a “boy’s thing” or “boys will do high risk games” etc.  If you have followed previous links I’ve listed, you will find, it’s not just boys. 

And now, another family is grieving, and will be having funeral services for their  13 year old daughter, Sarah Beck, of Franklin, North Carolina, tomorrow.  Please read the article about this young girl. 

Then, please read this article, The Choking Game:  Are your kids playing?  Here is a short excerpt:

“14 News  talked to numerous young people all over the Tri-State area. While a few hadn’t heard of it, the majority had and many had tried it themselves as young as the sixth grade.

It’s called a variety of names, the choking game, the pass out game, space monkey, ghost. No matter what it’s called, it’s important to know it can kill you.

Kids as young as elementary school are playing it in groups. Some play it alone. It’s happening in your home, at school or on the bus. Children choking each other for a quick euphoric high. . .

. . . “It is just the same as Russian roulette, just not with a gun,” says Paula [mom of another girl who died from this game]. “I don’t want anymore to know what I’m going through. I don’t want any new friends that way. I want them to keep their kids.” “ [emphasis mine]

Please read the whole article – it’s long yet informative with the warnings signs to watch for, and may help save your child’s life or a child you know. 

03/03/08 addition – Here is another excellent editorial written on it.  Thank you Mr. Boyles for sharing.

In memory of my son ~ Matthew’s Story

Our Son, Matthew, In Remembrance ~ 3 Years in Heaven

 

In loving memory of our son,

Matthew’s Story

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he following was written by C.S. Lewis who wrote the Narnia series.  He also wrote a book called, “Grief Observed” which he wrote after the death of his wife.  Below he writes about “getting over” the death of  his wife.  This book was written in 1963 – still relevant today with that same pain of grief. 

“Getting over it so soon?  But the words are ambiguous.  To say the patient is getting over it after an operation for appendicitis is one thing; after he’s had his leg off it is quite another.  After that operation either the wounded stumps heals or the man dies.  If it heals, the fierce, continuous pain will stop.  Presently he’ll get back his strength and be able to stump about on his wooden leg.  He has “got over it.”  But he will probably have recurrent pains in the stump all his life, and perhaps pretty bad ones; and he will always be a one-legged man.  There will be hardly any moment when he forgets it.  Bathing, dressing, sitting down and getting up again, even lying in bed, will be different.  His whole way of life will be changed.  All sorts of pleasures and activities that he once took for granted will have to be simply written off.  Duties too.  At present I am learning to get about on crutches.  Perhaps I shall presently be given a wood leg.  But I shall never be a biped again.”

I still feel that amputation – the loss of my son.  His death does not come to mind every hour, but I doubt there is a day he does not come to mind at sometime, whether it be his smile I see in one of his siblings, the pang I feel in my heart when I see or hear an ambulance, or see something red – his favorite color, or a song on the radio.  It can still hurt to the point of tears – I doubt that will ever go away, from talking to other bereaved parents.  There are not tears every day, maybe just a few times a month -during moments of reflection.  It’s not just my pain – it’s what I still know is there in my husband and children.  Though we are finding our “new normal” some things died along with him.  We had been adding on an addition to our home when he died.  This was never completed, and my husband recently decided, when he has the energy, to take it all down.   

A few days ago one of my daughters asked me if she thinks Matthew would know to forgive her.  Not understanding, she told me in tears, almost three years later, that the day before he died, she was fighting with him, and called him names and poked at him.  He got mad at her.  Though things were ok later in the day, she never apologized to him.  She wanted to know if I thought he forgave her.  Without a doubt in my mind, if he would even remember it, I know he’d not be unforgiving. He’s in heaven with Jesus!  There’d be no grudges or turning his back because of a wrong. 

I still think of him as that tall, lanky 16 year old. I cannot imagine him older.  He’d be almost 20.  It’s hard to picture him that way.  His pictures don’t age.  It seems strange as his younger siblings pass his age.  I treasure the 16th year.  My twins are his age now. 

Often I am told because of what I write, my faith is strong.  It falters, stumbles and totally crumbles at times.  I still ask why, just as one of my children asked the other day.   It’s not been an easy road of grieving, recovery, and finding our “new normal”.  Despite it all, God continues to hold us in the palm of His hand, and His mercies are new every morning.  I know someday all our tears will be wiped away.  I will meet Jesus face to face, and this pain will be gone.  The longings of missing loved ones will no longer be there. 

Today we remember, we miss, we shed tears and yet, are thankful for the life we had for 16 years and we do not grieve as those with no hope. 

If you are new to my blog, and have children, please know of the “choking game” that took my son’s life.  Below are links.  It’s my prayer that Matthew’s death can save other children’s lives.  Just as you talk to your children about drugs, this is just as important.  Talk to them, today.

GASP: Games Adolescents Shouldn’t Play
Another recent death – Connor Galloway (age 12)

The “Choking Game” – It’s still happening

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t’s the 11th.  Two months from today it will be three years that our son died from the "choking game".    It’s not really the way I want my son remembered, yet, I hear over and over about it, from e-mails being forwarded to me, to new readers just first learning that such a "game" even exists.  On Tuesday my post had a link to Matthew’s memorial page, and I received several very kind and compassionate notes, yet they were from parents who never knew it existed.  This past week we had a customer at our house, and found out that their children that came over attend a Christian high school, were also very aware of the choking game.

This will not be a long post all about it.  Below are recent links regarding it.  Know what your children may already know about.

• 12 year old David Cody Hudson, died last month from the choking game.  His father, a firefighter, was not aware of this "game".  The father "said he agreed to talk about his son’s death to save another child’s life. He urged parents to speak with their children and show them the danger."

• Youth’s playing a deadly ‘choking game’ – "Blackout. Seven Minutes ‘Til Heaven. Astronauting. Cloud Nine. The Choking Game.  Ever heard of it? Bet your kids have."

• Parents are the key to ending the choking game

• Deadly Games Children Play

New York Times Story on the Choking Game

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oday on the frontpage of the New York Times there is an article all parents must read: Teenager Casts Light on a Shadowy Game.  Sixteen year old Levi Draher from Texas played the choking game three times and after the last time he says "I died and came back."  Last October he was declared "clinically dead".  Being unconscious for more than three minutes, he also had a heart attack, was three days in a coma, and still remains on anti-seizure medications.  He is now sharing his story in highschools with Police Office Scott Methey. 

Thankfully, Levi Draher was given a second chance.  My son was not.  He died from this choking game, as most do.  If you haven’t talked to your kids about this so-called "game" please don’t wait another day.  The statitics ae scarey- though I personally believe it’s even higher, because as the article also states, many suicides may not have been suicide at all.

Some medical examiners and pediatricians are looking at the increased teenage suicide rate from suffocation over the last decade and questioning whether dozens of deaths listed as suicide might in fact have been accidental, the result of a choking game experience gone wrong.

In 2004, according to the most recent figures from the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 779 children between ages 10 and 19 committed suicide by suffocation, up from 400 to 450 per year from the early 1980s through the mid-1990s, when the numbers began to rise. (from New York Times article)

It’s been over two years since our son’s tragic death in our home and though we are doing much better, and there is more joy than tears, there’s still not a day we are not reminded.  We rejoice greatly with the birth of our new precious son, yet, there is the sadness that Matthew will not meet him this side of heaven (and he loved babies).  Last week when my husband was at his business class and I and the children were painting our living room, we came across one of Matthew’s hunting license cards from 2002.  When we painted our stairway which is where the ambulance medical personnel came in, there was discussions of "that day" and the memories that will never be erased. 

Someday our tears wlll all be wiped away as Jesus’ promises – ’til then we will miss our "forever 16 son" and we will continue to share what took his life from us.  Talk to your kids today.  Know the warning signs. 

Matthew’s Memorial Page

Choking Game Education:  Deadly Games Children Play 

This Is Why I Share . . . (a homeschool mom reads our son’s story and finds out her sons have tried it as well)

The Choking Game – What YOU Can Do

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ast week my friend’s husband pulled up in the church parking lot after AWANA to see two boys choking each other.  This was not the first incident of this at this Baptist Tennessee church. A leader spoke with one of the boys, and he said the typical, "It won’t hurt anyone . . . all you do is passout and then wake up."  He would not believe that it could kill him. 

Another mom, Kate also knows the same pain we have, with the loss of her only son Dylan Blake, from the "choking game". Kate has started a petition to bring awareness of the "choking game" in the D.A.R.E. programs which are taught in public schools, beginning in the fifth or sixth grade.  The main emphasis of the D.A.R.E program now is drug awareness.  The "choking game" is a "free drug" that kids are using.  As Kate shares on the petition,

75% of parents have no knowledge of this activity or the involvement of their children
In a Recent poll of 500 6th-12th graders:
53% of the boys admitted playing "The Choking Game"
Of those who admitted playing:
86% admitted to playing 2x/week
64% admitted to playing alone.

Would you please sign this petition to help bring more awareness to kids who already know about the "game" to help prevent deaths.  And, for my many homeschool readers, talk to your children.  Because we homeschool, go to church, etc., does not mean these things won’t come into our home.  We know.  Matthew’s Story

Sunday Times Choking Game Article

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he Sunday Times has an excellent article titled, Deadly ’choking game’ sweeping primary schools.  The author did not believe this choking game was really a problem, until her younger brother told her about kids doing this during school breaks, acting like a bunch of drunks.  She then heard it discussed on a radio program and became alarmed. 

When American preteens were asked about this game, both girls and boys responded with shocking comments such as: "We play it every evening"; "It’s harmless’; "It’s fun"; "I’ve been doing it for two years now"; and "It’s a safe way to get a high."

The writer, who lives in Africa, believes it is something taking place there, but acknowledges it being a big problem in America.  Please read the entire article.  It would be worth printing out, and sharing with your kids, teachers, principals, and your friends.  It may save a life.  Maybe your child’s or your child’s best friend.  The writer’s article ends:

Mainly "normal" children are prone to this game. Children with friends; not rebellious, with a healthy curiosity. The game is mainly introduced to kids at parties and sleepovers. At first played in groups then it becomes addictive and kids will play it in smaller and smaller groups and the real danger is when they try it on their own.

So, to all the parents who think their children are not at risk please speak to your children about this game and ask them if they are playing it. Just as this Christian girl from America was affected and eventually died because of this game, it can affect any child, and I mean any child. I pray that it won’t be yours.

It’s my prayer also.

Dear Abby & the Choking Game

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esterday’s "Dear Abby" was brought to my attention first by my husband and then several e-mails. The title, PLAYING THE CHOKING GAME CAN END IN DEADLY LOSS, will hopefully bring more awareness to this foolish game that also took our son‘s life.  Be sure to read the letters, including from more families who lost children this way.

Choking Game – A song that can kill

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‘ve written a lot on the "choking game" which killed our son, Matthew. The lyrics to the song linked below was just brought to my attention.  I have never heard of this group, so I don’t know how popular they are.  It again brings awareness to know what our kids are listening to and watching on TV.  It is very influential, and yes, can even cause death. 

Korn Lyrics
"Coming Undone"

Focus On the Family had a broadcast on in June on teen cultural issues that parents need to be aware of, which included the "choking game".  You can listen to the broadcast and find other links here.