t is so sad to see these statistics of marriages ending in divorce. Yet, the one that jumps out to me the most is that ” [t]he divorce rate among couples WITH children is 40% lower than couples WITHOUT children.” It seems we hear so many say they will have children when their lives are all set in the right order . . . no debt, a secure job, a large savings account, etc., and by the time they seem to get to that point, the marriage is already dissolving. Marriage is definitely work. I’ve been married over 28 years and it’s still major work. Our faith plays a very big role in our marriage staying together, but another close reason behind it, is our children. Marriage is also a picture of sacrifice – to each other and again, our children.
I appreciate the article Cornelius Julius Sebastian wrote titled, Marry Young (and Well), Have Many Children Early (But Responsibly). This paragraph summarizes many of his thoughts well:
I know the arguments against early marriage and child rearing — go to school, get yourself financially established, etc. I fell for them too. Frankly, I think they are ridiculous. The vast majority of the world raises far larger families than we do on a fraction of our GDP. It is only materialist selfishness that made the prevailing ideology the norm. In fact, I find that worldview to be unabashedly liberal, not conservative. Delaying responsibility has only extended the infantile adolescence we all criticize. You want an adult civic populace? Give them adult responsibilities. There is no greater responsibility than having kids.
Why is it so many marriages do end in divorce? What happened to “till death us do part?” Is it made too easy with no-fault divorces? Someone is to blame for the marriage failing – most like both of them. But with a no-fault divorce, they both escape their vows, and most likely someone is to blame and the other is taking the punishment. What happened to pushing for reconciliation? What happened to working on a marriage? Another author said in his article, The Real Problem with No-Fault Divorce, “It isn’t that the guilty are not being punished, but that the innocent are.”
The above statistics are sad and scary – even scarier for me as a mom, as my children are marrying. What is the likelihood that with having ten children, one or more of my children’s marriages will end in divorce? This is where I do have to let go and let God be in control, but I hope and pray that their seeing our marriage making it through the odds of many rough times, and making materialistic things not the center of their marriage, that they can be on the positive side of the statistics. It will be work, but well worth it too.