Tell of a moment or an incident that you treasure –
not necessarily because it brought you happiness,
but because it taught you something about yourself.
‘ve shared about this before, but with new readers, it’s worth repeating and especially since I am kind of going through it with a pregnant daughter. When she was first pregnant, she wondered about how many to tell. She had a sister-in-law that had miscarried her first time pregnant, and she remembered when I had miscarried. Some say to wait until 3 months, but if the gal does miscarry, it’s a lot to carry alone. Yes, I believe Jesus will carry her, yet, He allows people to be in our lives to encourage – to weep with those that weep and rejoice with those that rejoice. And this brings me to my treasured learning story.
It was at least 19 years ago, and I had miscarried for the second time in a row. We decided not to tell our children, because we wanted to protect them, and not have them hurting as well. But the kids knew something was wrong – mom was crying and sad and questioned us. We decided to tell the older two boys. I remember it very vividly. As we explained, our son Matthew (now in heaven), broke down. He was so sad, and then blurted out in the middle of his sobs:
“If you would have told me about the baby,
I would have prayed for the baby
and maybe the baby would have lived.”
Talk about heart gripping. Oh my goodness. Though I believe God had that baby’s days numbered as well, I felt bad that we did not give the older ones the opportunity to pray for their little sibling. It took awhile to console him and help him understand that it was not his fault, yet we were sorry for not sharing with him. My husband even took him out around midnight to the store, to distract him.
It’s taught me that not only would I not want to go through a pregnancy alone, even if a baby’s life is very short, I do want the special ones in my life to know, to pray for the baby (and me), and to rejoice with us – yes, even with my young child. And yet, should I miscarry, I would hope that these same dear ones would weep with us, feel our loss too, and encourage us and children can learn and grow and understand more of what life is like and the faith we need to continue on.
So this is a bittersweet learning moment I treasure . . . that I shared with my daughter as well. She only has 11 weeks to go til her first little one is due – and our first grandbaby! We are rejoicing!