What Mama Did
start . . .
My first thought is to not write tonight. I missed what I wanted in a mom . . . I miss what we should have had . . . I miss . . . I just plain miss. There were a lot of pains growing up and now when I think of her, I wonder about her brokenness too. We are all broken people and sometimes we don’t allow the right Person to do all the fixing and for me, I am sure I wanted her to fix things or be more than she could be and my expectations were off. God wanted to fill the gap and I wanted others to.
And as I stop and think of what mama did I think of her hanging out the laundry and my muttering under my breath how I will never hang out the laundry but instead stuff it in a a dryer and just get it overwith. I never realized I’d miss that fresh smell in the sheets each Saturday night or enjoy watching the laundry blowing in the breeze. Just as my kids have grumbled about hanging out laundry, I now hear one of my daughters saying she cannot wait for spring to hang her blankets outside.
The other day as my children were getting ready to go outside and play in the snow one of them complained about how their socks always get so wet even with their boots on and I told them what mama did . . . and I hated . . . putting plastic grocery bags over our socks and sticking them in the boot. I hated doing that, especially wearing them to school like that . . . but my kids thought it was a great idea and now they do what mama did.
And though there are many things I’ve not done what mama did I have learned how to make her Swiss Steak just as good, and I can write as pretty as her cursive was too and I am still learning not to scream which is what mama did and I said I’d never do. Yet the most important thing what mama did was to ask Jesus into her life and because of that, she is in heaven fully healed, and because I did too, someday we will both be together, fully healed and we will truly love each other. I just wish I didn’t have to wait for heaven to know my mom’s love.
. . . finished
Joining Lisa-Jo and her Five Minute Friday.
” five minutes of free writing without worrying about getting it right “
Writing Canvas 
I’m glad that you decided to write tonight. Your words moved me to tears.
Thanks for sharing your story here. I’m with you, looking forward to all the human love we’ve ever known being made perfect in the One full Love of God. 🙂
I’m learning not to scream as well… but alas it’s what my mama did too… and those things just tend to stick all over us don’t they? How beautiful that your children are finding some of your mother’s ways to be wise…
That’s a powerful testimony. You were able to write it without throwing mud. You gave us a glimpse of what redemption is. God bless!
Tina
http://abooksandmore.blogspot.com
Thank you so much for sharing anyway…I have had to remember lately to look for the good in certain situations. This was such a beautiful example.
As I read, I “heard” the pain, the grieving and the redemption. . . beautiful perspective! There is a legacy you are forging for your family that goes way beyond learning not to scream. . .it will be an amazing reunion when the time comes! Thanks for being so vulnerable and sharing.
You’ve found the light in a dark place. Thanks for your example.
I’m glad you shared. I didn’t have a nurturing fuzzy post either because my Mom wasn’t “that” nurturing. She was critical, though she did the best she could.
My Mama put old loaf bread bags on our feet too — and several pairs of pants when we played in the snow. No snow bibs for us. Ha.
I popped over from Lisa-Jo’s blog.
Blessings!
Beth
Beautiful. I clicked on your link because my mom and I aren’t speaking right now and there’s a lot of hurt everywhere, and I still want to protect her. I know there are a million pieces of good memory that I could write about, but there’s just so much yuck in the way! Thank you for figuring out a way to write anyway, and doing it in such a loving, God-honoring way!
Loved your post. This whole series on “What Moma Did” is challenging to me….I realized this morning that like it or not, I have been viewing the “glass as 1/2 empty” instead of seeing it was 1/2 full. Thank you for your post – it helped me!
I will echo the others and say I am so glad you shared. I praise you for finding the good and reflecting on those things – swiss steak and hanging out the laundry. Relationships are so complex.
So glad you shared. I have started and stopped my own post for this week’s topic, because I just don’t know how to write positively about my mom. I decided to read some others’ writing in hopes it would give me inspiration, and I just want to say thank you. Thank you thank you.
What a beautiful, painfully honest post. My momma wasn’t all warm fuzzies, but my post points out both the good and the bad like yours. You balance it so well and what a wonderful ending…that you both will be in heaven together. My mom made a good Swiss steak too. Stopping by from FMF.
Dear Loni
I also have to wait until we are all in heaven and my mother fully healed before I will truly know her love! But for now, I am grateful that she loves me as best as she can. Over via FMF. Thanks for your honesty.
Much love
Mia
Dear Loni,
Oh how I can relate. I too had a mama, just like me, wounded and less than perfect. Praise God that you will one day see her again whole and perfect in heaven. Thank you for being open and transparent.
In Christ…Susan
Thanks for this. I was afraid I would be the only one posting the not-so-good parts of having a mother!