arlier today I wrote a post regarding today being Worldwide Choking Game Awareness Day. We have gone through the death of a 16 year old son to the choking game, nearly 8 years ago. I know some would prefer I sweep what happened, under the rug. Some wanted “hushed” what happened to our family. I am sure some think since it’s been almost eight years, we should be over this, and forget about “it” and go on. My heart is not nearly grieved as it was even four years ago. But, healing takes place with being able to share with others, especially those just beginning a grief journey after the loss of a child.
Mr. John Ortberg wrote in his book, The Me I Want to Be: Becoming God’s Best Version of You (e-book still free at time of this post) the following:
One man I know is both an extrovert and a deep feeler. He is in the flow of the Spirit best when he is neck-deep in the soul struggles of another human being. Ironically even though he is trying to help someone else, it is in those moments when his own soul is healed.
It was so good for me to read this . . . because I find myself gravitating often, to hurting people, especially moms who have gone through the death of a child. I’ve been asked often why I let myself go through it – because it’s painful, but it’s painfully healing too. Several could not understand why I sat with my dear friend Hannah when her baby took his last breath – holding him with her. It was such a bittersweet time – it was a gift she gave me that I never had with my stillborn daughter.
The same with my son that died. Today a gal wrote on Facebook after seeing someone else share my blog post:
I remember the family, and hearing about Matthew’s death. I can hardly believe 8 years has passed. Not long after it happened, my eldest came home from high school to tell me about a new ‘game’ they were playing – it involved wrapping your arms tightly around a person’s upper arms, lifting them up and squeezing until they passed out. I sat down and told him about Matthew. He never did it again, he told his friends about it and they never did it again either. So Matthew’s life has made a difference down here in South Australia too xxx
I’ve heard this many times over. Though I miss Matthew terribly, especially around holidays, birthdays, special celebrations and when I look at family pictures that do not seem complete, my heart can rejoice and continue healing, when I know, for eternities sake, his death has and will continue to, make a difference.
So, what could God be telling us to believe?
Weep with those that weep . . .
this is what will help you heal.
And later, you can more easily
rejoice with those that rejoice.
Joy will come again –
though the night may be long.
You can come forth as gold,
going through this trial.
“Woman, just believe Me.“
Above pencil drawing by my 12 year old daughter.