start . . .
rust – it’s a pretty big word. But, I am thinking mostly of my trust in God and how it’s sure a growth venture to trust Him in everything. It’s easy to say we trust Him, but I wonder how often
we I really do. I think where I fail the most is trusting God with my children. I know that sounds like a big lack of faith. But I think for moms it’s pretty easy to worry and fret, give our children over to God, but then snatch them back to take control. It’s when the “what if’s” cross out our trust in God.
We are in the midst of our 6th child on the road, learning to drive. She’s probably been our most timid driver and had chosen to not get her license up to this point. She’s 20 and marrying in the spring and so she decided to get her permit. I sat next to her as she drove yesterday, and she was driving very well and cautiously. But I know the first time she drives by herself, it will be so easy to get worked up. Will she stop long enough at the worst corner by our house, long enough to make sure there is no on coming traffic? Several kids have been killed at this corner, I remind myself, while twisting my hands together. Will she drive defensively? Will she remember which way she can turn on red? And I will have myself all worked up in a frenzy . . . what if . . . what if she gets in an accident? What if . . . and then, I do hear that small still voice, that God IS watching her, God IS in control and God DOES love her even more than I do? .
And so I hand her over again to God, trusting again that He truly has her best interest . . . and the same with my other children, as they find jobs, marry, go to college, make friends, and might not always make the choices “I” want them to. I am learning what battles to engage in and what battles to retreat from, and in doing so, learning to to trust my Heavenly Father more with His children that are on loan to me.