this weeks’s word
my word for the year
even years ago at this time, I would never have thought joy could really exist again. I began blogging after the unexpected tragic death of our 16 year old son in our home. This is what I wrote seven years ago on today’s date
“. . . I have a hard time getting out of bed – just knowing we have to face another day, without Matthew, and seeing two sons so hurt [from a vehcile accident just 5 weeks after Matthew’s death which they totaled a truck yet still thankful it did not take them] and the rest of the children still grieving and hurting, though the tears have been a little less. The boys are still all sleeping upstairs. We have not gotten much done downstairs, and the process has been slow.”
I know at that time, despite our faith, despite knowing in our hearts Matthew was heaven and we had and have the assurance we will see him again, we were still in shock. We could not grasp joy. It was out of reach. The night was very long.
Weeping may stay all night,
but by morning, joy!
Psalm 30:5 (CEB)
And slowly, the fog began to lift, and mornings were clearer to see through, and joy was there in the horizon. Some days it quickly faded as memories, pains and grief overtook! But soon there were more bright mornings that lasted longer throughout the day where joy remained. And we learned more and more not to take life for granted, and the new joys were much more simple, from family time together, laughter of the little ones, and a full family table as we got more use to Matthew missing. We learned from the child-like faith of our younger ones, who wondered why we cried so, when Matthew was not in pain and he was happier than ever. And joys grew more with a new unexpected baby in our family and now new joys of adding children by marriage.
We still miss . . . always will, and the final, everlasting joy will be when our family is all reunited, along with our infant daughter born still that will be in heaven 14 years this Sunday . . . when there is no more tears, no more separations, no more death.
” . . . In Your presence there is fullness of JOY!!! ”
What JOY that will be!