Posted in Family, Information Article

Imperfect Prose: Imperfect Good-Byes

a weary mom watches her 11 year old son dying of cancer,
saying good-bye over and over
wondering if he will awaken again
and he continues fighting . . .  and suffering
yet wakes another time
and they hold on
thankful for the slightest smile

she writes on his CaringBridge Page:

. . . we wait.
We wait by his bedside, ready to respond to his slightest need.

Gazing into his face, praying for him, singing to him.
Trying to fight all the distractions satan puts in our path
that take our focus off where it needs to be.
Trying to fight all the fear and finish this race by his side.

How much longer?

I can rejoice as she continues to make bittersweet memories
yet weep with her as it’s almost unbearable to watch a child suffer
and try to explain the whys.

(UPDATE: I wrote this shortly after midnight.  I received a note
that Jonah took his last breath at 9:30 this morning)

another mom made funeral arrangements yesterday.

she didn’t say good-bye to her 18 year old hurting son.
he took his life
she tried to breath life back into him
he was gone.
and the whys and sting of death has begun
temporarily

memories flood back to the day our son died
so unexpectedly with no good-byes
no returned breath as we breathed into him
and just as a sister found her brother yesterday,
I am in awe how God has grown our son
who found his brother six years ago
and I pray for her sweet faith to explode.

the rawness returns
because we know the pain the family
will walk through
the whys, the blaming, the self-blaming
siblings grieving
the turmoil and darkness,
all the firsts through the next year

and satan tries to seek and destroy
but he doesn’t.
he won’t win.

our children weep for and with their friends
a daughter shares on her blog
she is learning to trust more
we talk about what we can do
we truly weep with those that weep

there is always hope
joy does come again in the morning
after the long night

And we hold on tighter to the hand that never let go

Because He Lives,
It is Well with My Soul

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Author:

Beloved KEPT Child of Jesus stumbling by faith ~ Married 33 years ~ Blessed Mama of 10 beside me & 2 at Jesus' feet ~ Homeschool mama of 26 years ~ Writer * Blogger * Reviewer ~

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