“If you are someone with a heart for those who are feeling invisible — this month is in honor of you. It’s kind of ironic, but sometimes the people who encourage others the most are the one most in need of encouragement. ”
I
‘m often asked what to say to someone who has lost a child. Many times there just are not words. It’s knowing people care, friends and family are near, and most all that our loved one can be talked about often, remembered and that their name is mentioned from our family and friends as well. I think one of the hardest things that both my husband and I will notice is when we talk about our son, not necessarily about his death, the subject is quickly changed. It also means so much when others remember birthdays and yes, even the anniversary death dates, as we don’t forget, and it helps to know others are remembering along with us. Every year several send me a card. One friend’s birthday is on Matthew’s birthday, and she has remembered through the years, by sending me a card. A card speaks a thousand words . . . something that can be picked up over and over again and help with healing.
As a mom who has gone through the deaths of two children, I find it also healing for myself when I can reach out to other moms who walk through a similar valley and try to be of encouragement. Not only does it give me an opportunity to share and remember my children, it is healing to be able to relate with a mom about her normal feelings and concerns. It was such a bittersweet honor to walk through this with my dear friend Hannah just over a year ago when she said hello and good-bye to her newborn son. I am thankful to be able to still remember her little Uriah with her.
It was going through experiences like this that Bereaved Moms Share was started, along with Bracelet Stories which gives family and friends ideas in how to give gifts and words of encouragement to remember little ones.
It makes this verse so relevant:
Rejoice with those who rejoice,
weep with those who weep.
Romans 12:15
I am thankful for the gift of encouragement that has been given to me. I am thankful to also give the gift of encouragement. I am thankful that God allows us to use each other to help heal the broken pieces in our lives.
Who can you rejoice with? Who can you weep with?
Joining Faith Barista and Imperfect Prose
silence. sometimes the best salve… and the hardest to apply. loni, you constantly remind me of mercy. thank you.
Thank you for such honesty in sharing your heart! It is an encouragement to me seeing how God is using your pain to encourage others! Coming over from the jam at Faith Barista.
You have said it well. It means so much when others remember. You are a blessing and have a wonderful way of encouraging families that have lost a child.
I have not suffered the loss of a child, two husbands, but not children. My heart goes out to all families reeling from grief. I know God will bless your endeavor to reach out to each other.